Darla's Mom

Everything is taken apart "to see how it goes" and then reassembled. This flashlight pen has been thoroughly inspected.
She is my future mechanical engineer.

Yesterday was a long day to be Darla.

Church, sisters, candy, candy, cake and friends.

She ran into her sisters in the morning and when they did not hug her and react with the same joy she was feeling – it broke her heart. She is 3 years old and missed the subtext of some outsider instructong them not to return her affectionate greetings. All she felt was rejected. – So Darla looked at me and said "My heart , it broke. When we get home I need to take down their pictures". My heart broke for her. I was, however, impressed with her long range thinking.

So we went to visit her oldest sister Jackie. Jax and Darla always make each other smile slyly at each other.

Someone fed her handfuls of chocolates…Stephanie. ..ahem. so there was a brief sugar rush that burned out in a party with other small children.

As she fell asleep in the car, she told me she felt warm and cozy and loved. Then she asked if Melanie and Abby would remember and look even her again some day.

I hate the politics of grown ups and I am sad that Darla already has coping skills for them.

The best part of coming to some legal conclusions about Darla is the ability to come home… and by that I mean return to the church that has been part of my life since kindergarten – longer than I have had my parents or my current last name.

I have missed the Hoover and Hubbles and Grahms.

My love of dark wood and stained glass started in the church where I played hide and seek under the pews

Both of my daughters have attended day care there.

This is where I learned to read music and Mrs Lucas taught me to sing.

The friends I keep tucked into my heart, whose successes and choices I celebrate : u met them there. Rachel and Jessica and Kirsten (one of my personal favorites with a wonderful family), Molly&Jesse, and Franklyn and the many many Aguilars. I see the Parrelli(I can’t spell that) s and so many of the women who have inspired and shaped me on the campus.

Today was one of my first forays home…and it felt wonderful.

God is everywhere, I never needed a building for faith (and my daughters are the same), but there is something about a church family that can never be replaced.

A month ago her Midway Mania was 200 points. Today she scored 11,800! She talked me onto the Farris Wheel and Golden Zephyr , two rides I have never done before.

I keep calling her "Jackie" when we are at the theme parks. We missed Jax a lot today.

I just told her the lollipops are not real

Darla slept under an avalanche of blankets and plush toys while Santa snuck in and out of her room.

Jackie used to wake up under a stocking full of her toys. I am hoping Darla will see this by her bed when she wakes up.

As for me, I have cookies to bake and another stocking to stuff and then back to sleep. It is 2:22 a.m.

Merry Christmas

Darla sitting on her gifts on Christmas Eve.
It is 1:23am and the wind is guttering through the space in my bedroom window where the holiday lights traverse from roof to my indoor socket.

I need to get up.
Holiday magic and all.

But it is cold and I have presents stashed in my car and my bed is warm. "Warm and cozy" as Darla would ssy