Darla's Mom

I am writing this is DarlasMom.com because I want to keep it long after FaceBook decays.

1. I am glad I finally decoded “Respect your parents” down to a concept that I can explain to my youngest daughter.
She asked me what it meant and I said “Respecting me means Mommy needs you to have blind faith, take an emotional leap, and believe that I know what I am doing and that it is good for you although you cannot see the whole picture. Respecting me means not fighting when I am trying to teach you things that will keep you safe and make your life better.” There is a part in the story of Job where God gets miffed and tells someone that if they don’t believe that he is making the best choices, that they should pick up the sword and rule the universe. Darla and talked about if she would like to be the Mommy and make the rules, and she said “No” because she can’t drive or see the top of the stove so she wasn’t equipped to take care of herself. “Then trust that I love you and am dedicated to taking good care of you and don’t be bratty about it – that means Respect.” I should also tell you that the song “RESPECT” is playing in my head now so I may have to go see my friend and complain that her brother’s song is in my head – love me some Otis!

2. I am thankful that I feel very uncomfortable listening to people tell story after story about how pleased they are to be mean to their family members as a means of controlling them. If I identified with them and cheered them on, I would feel like a monster. I am glad that I don’t (often) feel the need to bully, harass, or be domineering to be heard and have my views weighed and responded to. This is at home and work and with friends – I am thankful that I feel respected based on the qualification that I really care about people, that my people know I will like and love and be here for them no matter how stupid their choices are and that I can feel validated by other means than being mean. MEan posple suck and there is just no nice way to tell them so.

3. I am thankful for space: emotional and physical space. I am thankful that I can put myself in Time Out and not be confronted with people who are distressing me. I am thankful to live with Darla and that although she likes to supervise my privacy and “Watch you be alone”, that she is sweet and kind and will hug it out when she has her feelings hurt

She gets a free pass for the first year, she faced backwards in the car seat.

But today she finally noticed Devil Ducky who has been in my car for 7 years or so.

We ran out of tape.

And explaining that the Genie went to Heaven and that’s why I’m crying.
Also explained that this is a Post Apocalypse world…and that’s why he has golf clubs and a Goofy hat…and yes, women will still be dominated by male culture even then…
Also, when Jafar asks to see the ‘Diamond in the Rough" we’re shown Aladdin AND Jasmine so maybe things would have gone smoother if Jafar was more open minded.

The view from here ain’t bad

She likes it

Like her namesake Darla Hood, there is a gang of kids in my Darla’s life.

They do the birthday thing and swim parties, and sleep overs and meet up at Disney land and they email and write and when Darla was in the emergency room, they sent her videos.
It is all very sweet and wonderful. Although she is the youngest of 4 sisters, she and I live alone and she is very much an only child. This arrangement of little girls and their brothers gives her a peer group and a touchstone.

She has lived her life sleeping in their hand me down cradles and clothes, and though the youngest of the girls, they treat her as an equal. At the yender age of 3, she has equity and a role in their little society.

I dig these kids. Catie has deep imaginative thoughts, El Diablo has a perspective on the world and won’t be swayed, Zoe is a compassionate bundle of hugs and wiggles, and Bella is going to evolve from her clean and quiet girl next door childhood and shake the world (write this down -she should be a trumpet player) and we are just getting to really know the Lompoc Ladies Sophia and Eva…but Darla has her own friendship growing with each of them and it is glorious.

My perk is that these girls have grown women attached to them whom I can talk to.

Darla calls them “The Mommies of My Heart”.

The adults of my generation whom I had expected, planned, and counted on being ever present guides in her life somehow fizzled, and when the smoke cleared Samantha, Andrea, Rebecca, Ali, and Crisi were here.

“I only have one mom, that’s you.byou know that. Right Mom? But And-we-wah and Miss Saman_ta , and Regular Zoe with golden hair:her mom what calls me Darla bug but I don’t have wings, and the..on and on.. In my heart they are my mommies too. They are the Mommies in my heart, but I live with you Mommy.”