Darla's Mom

The best part of coming to some legal conclusions about Darla is the ability to come home… and by that I mean return to the church that has been part of my life since kindergarten – longer than I have had my parents or my current last name.

I have missed the Hoover and Hubbles and Grahms.

My love of dark wood and stained glass started in the church where I played hide and seek under the pews

Both of my daughters have attended day care there.

This is where I learned to read music and Mrs Lucas taught me to sing.

The friends I keep tucked into my heart, whose successes and choices I celebrate : u met them there. Rachel and Jessica and Kirsten (one of my personal favorites with a wonderful family), Molly&Jesse, and Franklyn and the many many Aguilars. I see the Parrelli(I can’t spell that) s and so many of the women who have inspired and shaped me on the campus.

Today was one of my first forays home…and it felt wonderful.

God is everywhere, I never needed a building for faith (and my daughters are the same), but there is something about a church family that can never be replaced.

A month ago her Midway Mania was 200 points. Today she scored 11,800! She talked me onto the Farris Wheel and Golden Zephyr , two rides I have never done before.

I keep calling her "Jackie" when we are at the theme parks. We missed Jax a lot today.

I just told her the lollipops are not real

Darla slept under an avalanche of blankets and plush toys while Santa snuck in and out of her room.

Jackie used to wake up under a stocking full of her toys. I am hoping Darla will see this by her bed when she wakes up.

As for me, I have cookies to bake and another stocking to stuff and then back to sleep. It is 2:22 a.m.

Merry Christmas

Darla sitting on her gifts on Christmas Eve.
It is 1:23am and the wind is guttering through the space in my bedroom window where the holiday lights traverse from roof to my indoor socket.

I need to get up.
Holiday magic and all.

But it is cold and I have presents stashed in my car and my bed is warm. "Warm and cozy" as Darla would ssy

It has been forever since I’ve pulled an all nighter…probably since the night before Jackie went to Sailing Camp at Dana Point in her Junior High years.
* I am so tired. Hopefully it will be worth it. I’m old school and feel compelled to hand sew stocking and move the elf. Her excitement will be explosive.
*for Jackie’s first Christmas I quilted her stocking. For weeks I poked my fingers and pulled threads through cherubim and french horn fabric.as a toddler she slept in it over Christmas Eve. I don’t expect I will outgrow the urge to make the holidays special for them.
*my earliest Christmas memory is waking up in the middle of the night with my brothers and opening every gift under the tree. Every gift. Then we went to sleep but our sin was written in marker and candy across our faces and sticky fingers. I remember receiving the worst beating of my life for that. You probably don’t want to know that wasn’t an exaggeration.
* I love Christmas but it will be just Darla and me this year. Dad’s has a lady friend is attending his dinner so we will stay far away from her. I’m afraid if I get to close to her I might tell her what a horrid person she is. As you can imagine, I’m not a fan of grown ups who are proud of being nasty to kids.
*so I stayed I put making stocking and party mix.

We had a flurry with a small flight of elf