Darla's Mom

Of course I can’t. It is Jackies’ last Easter as a child and there are traditions to be upheld.

1. She is speaking at Easter sunrise service.

2. There are Easter Eggs to dye.

Every year Jackie and I pull out loads of eggs, vinegar, food coloring, dyes, wax, tin foil, hot glue guns and then we camp out at a table and work together for hours – hovering over little while ovals and turning them into works of art or just works of something while our nail beds turn all the colors of the rainbow.  Every year it is just her and me and our shared artistic visions while we watch movies or just chatter about any and everything.

I know that easter is about dying and resurrection and ever lasting life. But dude, my mon died on Easter and three days later she didn’t reappear.

I am just not feeling it.

I usually dig the holidays. I like to use them to measure out where I am on my goal planning and to review and celebrate the changes since the same holiday in a year prior.

This past year has been a wash;

 a continuation of the “Lynne D”  nightmare compounded with Michelle Gomez – both slimy symptoms of Don’s incredible narcissism and lack of respect for me, Darla and our family. I have been besieged by pleas from the Bonus Kids to stay with their father and not leave them, guilt over the thought of raising another child alone and washes of memories of how stressful it as the first time, (although, I make good product and Jackie is fabulous and was accepted to 5 of the 6 colleges she applied to), anger (and disgust) at these people who have never met me but dismissed me any my role in Darla and Don’s lives as unimportant when compared to their desire to be loved. This Michelle chick used to sneak into my home while I was at work, sit on my furniture, drink from my glasses and eat my food and then have the nerve to tell me that “oops, she knew I lived here, and although I caught her sextings in October and told her to stop – she didn’t think she was doing anything wrong – then told me about her failed marriage and why it made it okay to try to ruin Darla’s family. Discovering how completely selfish and dishonest Don is, and seeing that it is his choice to be so  – but also looking at the people in his past relationships who lied and snuck around to get what they wanted. I did get him to come to a parenting class with me – he fell asleep. I have the same job with the same pay but twice the workload from a year ago. And somehow I weigh 12 pounds more (but thankfully can get back in to the same pants).

So – can I just skip it?